I spend most of the night last night awake, with a thousand different possibilities flowing through my head. I called and said goodnight to Vic at around 11:30 and i fell right asleep.. by 12:30 my nurse was in my room shaking me because I was having a nightmare that i didn't wake up out of.. somehow i knew this was going to happen last night... then i fell back asleep, 2am then crept up on me and i was again being woken up out of my sleep... another nightmare. This time i had an even harder time falling back asleep.
I was awake tossing and turning until about 3:30 in the morning, once i finally fell back asleep the bright shinning sun was in my face by 5:15. needless to say, i seriously got NO sleep last night. I woke up, ate breakfast, had my second bag of Chemo for the day started, and took a shower.. i did some wedding planning and finished getting a couple ducks in a row.
I ate lunch and then had some visitors. Vic, My mom & Natalie. Vic and my mom brought me a whole array of things i seem to have forgotten for my stay here. Essentials, like the iPhone picture printer (DUH), a jacket, snacks, you know. hah. Natalie just hung with me for a couple hours and we printed pictures and decorated a portion of my door. I love her.
Vics now at home feeding Liam and cooking himself dinner, I just skyped them. i love them so much i can't even explain! As hard as this is going to be on me to be away from them for 8 weeks, knowing i get to go back home and live a happy and HEALTHY life with them when this is all over is whats going to keep me going.
Not much went on today, as you can see, today and tomorrow are going to be pretty repetitive and borning. Saturday starts the even more dangerous Chemo....... the chemo thats going to destroy me for the rest of this stay.....
i know theres a lot of you looking forward to reading juicy details today, IM SORRY! hopefully something more exciting for you guys to read happens tonight or tomorrow, lol.
Dedication: Kim
Kiiiim, you really are like a second mother to me. Aside from my own mother, there is no one else that i look up to and trust more then i do you. You are one of the worlds greatest role models and i aspire to someday be the mother that you are to Vic and Kayla, to Liam. You are one of the most caring, heart warming, UNDERSTANDING people iv ever met and there isn't anything i would change about you. You have helped me through this long journey more then you will ever know. You've cheered me up when i was in the dumps, you've given me advise, good advise, you've done everything you possibly could to make me as comfortable and happy as possible and i will never be able to express how thankful i am to have you in my life. I don't know where i would be or where my head would be at without you. you teach me everyday that being a good person is what matters, and i grow to love you more and more each day. I want to make you proud to call me your daughter in law, and i hope you never ever forget how much i cherish the relationship we have together, everyday for the rest of my life.
i love you
xO
Mel
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