Im definitely feeling the affects of the chemo today. A part of me was hoping i was going to skate through most of it feelings ok, well i was wrong.. i spent most of the day in my hospital bed watching tv. I didn't want to get up, eat, or walk.
i had some visitors today. Chad, Kayla, and my Mom and Dad. <3 i love them.
Im sorry i don't have much to say today, I'm not feeling good and i have two of the worst days ahead of me. Things are about to get real and i couldn't be more terrified.... I know a lot of you are following me wanting all the juicy details, day by day, but theres nothing for today. My energy is running low. I feel like an 80 year old trapped in a 20 year olds body and things are only going to get worse and worse from tomorrow on out....
really missing Victor and Liam today, Luckily victor is coming to stay with me tomorrow night.
ALSO my mommy in law FINALLY gets home tonight from her week long vacation; missed her so so much!
Dedication: Josh
Brother, Josh, i can't even start to explain what you mean to me. We spent our childhoods as best friends and as an adult you grow more and more to be one of my best friends everyday. I am so proud of the man that you have become. You are one of the most genuine, loving, supportive people that Ive got in my life and i thank god everyday for giving me such a wonderful little brother. You've always been here for me, even when you didn't agree with my decisions. We have always confided in each other and whole heartily trusted each other with anything. I will spend the rest of my life beating it into your head that you are a great person and you NEVER need to change who you are or the things you want in life for anyone. You've found a great partner who thinks just as much of you as i do and i love that. You are smart, and you are important to my life, to my recovery, to my cure. I couldn't do this without you, without your love and without your support. I am so overly proud of you and the young man you have become.
I love you more than you'll ever know.
xO
Mel
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